Huh
by Lipton Lee
Summary: Dammit, Jess, I'm pregnant! Hug the frickin' bear!
1. Default Chapter

Rating:PG. Warning for FLUFF

Summary: "Dammit, Jess, I'm pregnant! Now hug the frickin' bear!"  
  
For Arianna. Who loves Hephaestus   
  
Huh  
  
Chinese food was the order of the evening. Comfort food is what Rory had called it. And from the looks of her (to Jess's eyes, at least), she needed it. He'd never been all too adept at being sympathetic or comforting so the best he could do was bring home all of her favorite take-out dishes on his way from work.  
  
"Home," he called, walking through the door, bag-o'-food in one hand, keys in the other.  
  
She was sitting on the couch in their New York apartment, huddled up with Hephaestus the bear in her arms. Her long hair was put up in a messy ponytail and she wore loose sweatpants and one of his old t-shirts. Her skin looked pale as she stared off into space.  
  
"Hey," he said softly as he sat next to her and put the bag and keys down. "Feeling any better?"  
  
She shook her head, not bothering to look at him.  
  
"You throw up again after I left?"  
  
Again, she shook her head.  
  
"Head spin around like The Exorcist chick's?"  
  
She shook her head, but this time, offered him a small smile, finally looking at him.  
  
"I brought Chinese," he told her. "You hungry?"  
  
She nodded and hugged the bear tighter.  
  
"What's with that?" he asked as he unpacked the food.  
  
"He's very huggable," Rory replied.  
  
Jess merely nodded.  
  
She stared at him as he pulled out packets of soy sauce and hot mustard. He was calm, and seemed relaxed as he spread their dinner out on the coffee table.  
  
He felt her eyes on him, but didn't look up. "What?"  
  
"When was the last time you hugged him?" she asked.  
  
He stopped his motions and turned to her. "I don't know," he replied. "Maybe when I was...nine?"  
  
She nodded and held the little black stuffed animal out to him. "Here."  
  
"No, thanks."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"What do you wanna eat first?"  
  
"Hug the bear."  
  
"I got crispy beef sezuan style... shrimp lomain... roast pork chowmein... orange chick-"  
  
"Dammit, Jess, I'm pregnant! Now hug the frickin' bear!"  
  
He stared blankly.  
  
She still held Hephaestus out to him.  
  
Jess slowly took it in his hands and stared down at it, silent.  
  
"See? This wasn't how you were supposed to find out," Rory said quietly. "You were supposed to be holding the bear first."  
  
"Well," he said, just as quietly. "It hasn't registered yet... I'm holding the bear now... start over."  
  
"But you already know."  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"You're so difficult."  
  
"And you married me."  
  
She sighed, trying not to smile. "Okay... well, we're going to need that bear soon."  
  
"We are?" he asked, still looking down at the toy.  
  
She nodded. "I went to the doctor today while you were at work...I waited for about two hours before I finally got looked at, and I read this really weird magazine article about the house legislature and..." she stopped her ramble. "Uhm... so...the doctor took a couple of tests, and it turns out...I'm pregnant. We're having a baby."  
  
He said nothing.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
He stayed silent for a moment before sitting back and inspecting the old teddy. "The left eye is loose," he commented. "And the right arm is falling off." He finally looked up at her. "Gonna have to get it fixed in the next nine months."  
  
She smiled softly and nodded, lying back to rest her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Maybe we should get the kid a new bear," Jess muttered, looking back down at Hephaestus.  
  
Rory shook her head. "No way."  
  
"He's old."  
  
"We'll ask my mom to fix him."  
  
He nodded and glanced down at her stomach. He slowly rested his hand where his eyes had wandered.  
  
She smiled, closing her eyes. "Little soon to feel anything."  
  
"Still in there."  
  
She nodded. "Are you okay?"  
  
"We're having a baby," he said matter-of-factly, taking his hand from her stomach and wrapped it around her shoulders. He held the bear in his other arm.  
  
"We are."  
  
He smirked and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Huh."


	2. Pt 2

Hmm…Don't ask me where this came from…

_Pt. 2_

Rory was curled up on the couch, the cordless phone under her ear and Hephaestus in her arms.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mom."

"Offspring!" Lorelai cried. "I'm so glad you called. You have to convince Luke that killing Taylor is a bad idea."

"I think I'm far too late for that," Rory replied. "What did Taylor do this time?"

"Put colored lights outside the diner."

"Colored?"

"Colored."

Rory shook her head. "He should have known better. What color?"

"Red."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, so now Luke wants to keep chainsaw in the diner," Lorelai explained.

"Not good."

"Not at all," Lorelai sighed. "Okay, so you probably had a reason for calling. What's up? What do you need?"

"Uh..."

"Rory...what?"

"Well..."

"Well? Well what?"

"What did Luke put in your coffee?" Rory asked. "I'm getting there."

"Is something wrong?"

"No! No, this is a good thing...I hope."

"You're moving back?" Lorelai asked hopefully.

"No."

"Damn! Then what is it?"

"Well...Mom...Uhm..."

"OH! Jess died in a horrific car accident and you got remarried to Prince William!"

"Mom!"

"Macaulay Culkin?"

"Hanging up now."

"Okay, I'm done joking," Lorelai said with a laugh. "What's up?"

"I'm..."

"Getting married."

Rory paused, obviously annoyed. "I've been married for a year, mom."

"Haha...you get it?" Lorelai laughed nerdily. "Cause...yeah, Okay. I'm done. What is it?"

Rory sighed. "Okay. I'm-"

"Oh, my god!" Lorelai cried.

Rory groaned. "What!"

"Kirk is-"

"Mom! I'm pregnant!"

"Okay, babe, but Kirk- What!"

"I'm having a baby!" Rory yelled. "When a man and a woman love each other very much, they...do very naughty things and then nine months later, the woman experiences ripping, horrible pain, while trying to squeeze a human life out of her-"

"I know that!"

They sat in silence.

"It's not April fools, is it?" Lorelai asked.

"It's January," Rory replied.

"So you're not kidding."

"No."

"And Jess didn't put you up to this."

"No, Mom."

"And you're absolutely sure."

Rory tried not to smirk. "The doctor wouldn't tell me I'm pregnant if I wasn't."

"Doctors know nothing," Lorelai snapped. "They're useless."

"And now you sound like Luke," Rory pointed out.

Lorelai groaned. "Damn that man for rubbing off on me."

Rory giggled. "Dirty."

They sat in more silence.

"So…You're really having a baby?" Lorelai asked.

Rory nodded. "I am."

Lorelai smiled. "Oh, Sweets…that's amazing. That's…I'm gonna be a grandma."

"Yeah," Rory said softly.

"I'm so old," Lorelai commented factually.

Rory laughed. "Think of how Grandma feels."

Lorelai gasped. "Oh, my god!" she giggled. "Emily is gonna be a great-grandmother! Remind me to start calling her Trix."

"Mom!"

"Kidding!"

They sat in more silence.

Rory smiled. "I'm gonna come over."

"Okay!" Lorelai smiled. "Remember to leave Jess a note, so he doesn't think you ran away with his baby."

"If I have to," Rory sighed dramatically. She smiled. "See you soon." She hung up the phone, kissed the little teddy bear that sat next to her on the forehead, and rushed to get ready to leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Luke Danes had the terrible habit of laughing his ass of every time his nephew told him something serious.

Jess Mariano, said nephew, glared menacingly. "God dammit, Luke!"

Luke snorted and then calmed down. "Okay. Say it again."

Jess sighed, resigned to the fact that the only blood relation on his mother's side that he could stand in a room with for more than thirty minutes could be just as much of an ass as the rest of his terribly dysfunctional family.

"Rory's pregnant. We're having a baby."

Luke fought to keep his composure. "You…a father?"

Jess nodded slowly.

"Of a Gilmore."

"The kid won't just be a Gilmore," Jess argued.

"Look at Rory! She's nothing like her father!"

"That's because Lorelai raised her alone," Jess snapped. "Whatever ounce of personality she inherited from Chris was completely squashed by your crazy girlfriend."

Luke grinned, ignoring him. "Changing diapers…midnight feedings…strolls through the park…piggy back rides…"

"Knock it off," Jess growled, throwing his rag down. He had been helping Luke close up the diner, but he wasn't feeling especially cooperative just then.

"Wow…Jess, how are you guys gonna pay for all this?" Luke asked. "I know you're working two jobs now, but-"

"We'll figure it out," Jess cut him off. "It'll be fine."

"Jess, who's gonna stay home with the baby?"

"I will."

"And then who's gonna run the bookstore?"

"I've got underlings, y'know," Jess replied, starting to get annoyed.

"And what about the magazine gig?"

"I can work it from home, and only go in when I have to," Jess concluded.

"And what about Rory?" Luke asked seriously. "She's been doing a lot of traveling around the East Coast for the _Times_."

"I know," Jess nodded. "God, how is this any of your business? We'll work it out!"

"Just making sure you've thought this through," Luke muttered.

Jess kept silent for a long while as he lifted up a few chairs up onto their tables.

Luke, too, shut his mouth. He sighed as he drained a ketchup bottle. "I'm sorry, okay?" he snapped. "I didn't mean to freak you out."

Jess sighed and stared at his uncle from across the room. "This is a good thing."

Luke nodded in agreement. "It's just hard picturing you as a dad."

"Believe me, I know," Jess snapped. "I have a hard time with the mental image too. I've never changed a diaper before, I've never warmed a bottle before, breast feeding makes me really uncomfortable, and I can already see myself not being able to assemble a stroller, and lighting it on fire instead."

"Strollers are easy," Luke said.

Jess kept putting up chairs. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I helped Sookie when Davie was born," Luke went on. "I'll help you."

Jess nodded. "Thanks."

"Sure."

They tidied up in silence for a long while.

"We really want this," Jess said abruptly. "We were gonna start trying the night after we found out."

Luke smirked, and wiped down the counter a little more. "Guess you guys have good timing."

"Guess so."

"You guys want a girl or a boy?" Luke asked.

Jess shrugged. "Either. It'll probably be a girl."

"Hey, it's all up to you," Luke pointed out.

"Yeah," Jess said quietly.

Luke sighed, and went over to the back sink to work on dishes. "Who else knows?"

"Lorelai," Jess replied, following him to help out. "A few of our co-workers."

"That's it?" Luke asked, handing him a dish to dry. "You haven't told Liz? Or Rory's grandparents? You haven't told Sofia? Gloria? Lane?"

Jess shrugged. "We're trying to keep it quiet. We don't want to cause of fuss."

"You always cause a fuss, you little punk," Luke growled with smirk as he splashed Jess lightly with the dishwasher.

Jess jumped back a little and smacked Luke upside the head with the dishtowel.

"Do that again, and I put you in the most painful headlock you've ever had."

"Try me."

And so Luke grabbed Jess, and wrapped a beefy arm around his head.

"Dammit!"

"Warned you."


End file.
